I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
