too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
