Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
