Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
