He kissed a someone with a penis
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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