And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
