I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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