But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
