I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
