So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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