just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
