If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
