i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
