Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
