Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
