fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
