It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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