he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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