I am in a vortex of obligation.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
