We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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