She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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