he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
