I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
