my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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