Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
