Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
