Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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