nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
