why didn't you poke me back
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
