You're my little dorito
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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