I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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