pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
