Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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