it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Houston, we have a squirter
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
