about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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