Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
