$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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