he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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