Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
