He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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