so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
