i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
