i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
