soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
