I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just want nice things and good sex
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
