HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
