I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
