My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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