dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
