Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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