That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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